The Ultimate Carrot Cake

Happy thoughts today.  Nothing but happy thoughts.

Wishes for bubbles and starbursts and a weekend of kite-flying.

Hopes for lollipops and buttons and glass pickles.

Thinking all sorts of things for you, including chocolate bunnies and carrot cake.

So long as you recognize it’s only just a slice of carrot cake.  A single slice.

Okay, a half slice.  No.  A bite.

Oh, heck.  Let’s not have carrot cake be part of this weekend’s happy things. 

Wishing you a weekend of forks laden with frosting and sticky fingers and carrot cake crumbs.

You wouldn’t have liked it anyway.


The Ultimate Carrot Cake


16 ounces of carrots
3/4 cup coconut oil, melted
5 eggs
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 (20 ounce) can crushed pineapple
1 (7 ounce) bag coconut
1 (6 ounce) bag chopped walnuts
1 1/2 cups golden raisins
1 tablespoon vanilla
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons cinnamon
1 tablespoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
2 cups flour

3 (8 ounce) blocks of Neufchatel cream cheese
5 cups powdered sugar
2-4 tablespoons milk


Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Clean the carrots well, then grate half of them with the large side of your grater and half with the fine side of your grater. In an electric mixer, beat together the coconut oil, eggs, pineapple and sugar. Beat in the remaining ingredients just until well mixed. Pour an even amount of batter into three 8-inch round cake pans that have been well-greased and floured. Bake for 35-40 minutes, just until the center of the cakes set and bounce back to the touch. Remove from the oven and cool completely.

In an electric mixer, beat together the cream cheese and powdered sugar, adding just enough milk to make the frosting creamy, but it should be quite thick. Spread on cooled cake. Eat. enjoy. wowza.