No-Rise Orange Rolls
You know. I really love the crap out of you all. Thank you.
Sometime around noon today, my doorbell rang unexpectedly. I say unexpectedly, because if I have any clue someone might stop by and ring the bell, I will actually toss on a bra and push my glasses civilly up the bridge of my nose. I didn’t do either of those. Ding dong.
It was one of the high-school girls my husband taught once upon a time, all grown up with babies of her own. She had in her hand a yellow flower and envelope. “I read your blog post,” she said, thrusting the green stem and carefully sealed envelope into my hands. Throwing all caution to the wind, I stepped barefoot onto the front porch and settled into conversation. She was all smiles and so was I. There’s something about reuniting with someone you forgot you so adored. It’s so gosh-danged nice.
(RELATED TANGENT: Of course, this sweet friend was a physical representation of the support and warmth so, so many of you offered yesterday. Thank you. Will you please allow me to offer the same to you whenEVER you need it? What a gift you all are to me. I hope to be the same to you.)
So, then. If yesterday’s lesson was to be unafraid of being honest with your truest friends (and to embrace leg fat…aka lipoma…but really I just like the name polka-dot fat, so that’s what we’ll be calling it from here on out, k?) then today’s was to learn the profoundly simple truth that telling a person you are thinking about them is never an inconvenience. Even if they are barefoot. Even if they are braless. Especially if they are wearing giant nerdy glasses near a public street. I can’t thank Amber enough for reminding me of such.
Lest you fear I’ll be going all mushy-gushy on you from here on out, I also feel to tell you that there are eleven other wondrous things to blog about, but my husband is running his fingers through my hair and it seems I’ve forgotten just about everything that was to be typed.
I’m having a realfsdly haarrd timmmmme concentraaaaaaaaasting.
So, let’s just nutshell it from here on out.
1) Tell people you love them. Spontaeously. Inexplicably. Entirely.
2) Eat orange rolls. Especially these ones. With or without cleave support.
3) I really do love the crap out of you.
See? Still Cheeky. ;)
No-Rise Splendidly Simple Orange Rolls
Any sort of dessert roll ought be saved for a special occasion based on caloric content alone. But, add to that dreadful number the minutes it takes to create a good yeast dough, and you've got yourself a dessert that takes a whole day to knead together. Not so with these lovely orange rolls. They don't need yeast. They are soft and perfect, moist and tender, and all other delicious adjectives you'd like to insert into this sentence. You're really going to like them a lot. Of course, you're calorie counter might detest them. But, seriously. Who listens to their calorie counter anymore?
YEAST-FREE ORANGE ROLLS
1 cup plain greek yogurt
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup light olive oil
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons baking powder
2 1/2 cups flour
2 cups white whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups orange marmalade
1/4 cup melted butter
6 cups powdered sugar
1 stick butter
1/4 cup orange marmalade
2 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
FOR THE ORANGE ROLLS:
In a large bowl, whisk together the yogurt, sugar, eggs, oil, and milk. Add the baking powder and two cups of flour and stir together until a soft batter forms. Add the remaining flour and stir together until a soft dough forms. Turn the dough out onto a slightly floured surface and roll the dough to 1/2-3/4" thick with a wooden rolling pin.
Spread a nice, thickish layer of marmalade across the dough, drizzle melted butter across the top of the marmalade, then roll the dough into a long "snake." Cut the snake into 1 1/2" slices. Place slices onto a slightly greased baking sheet or cake pan and bake in a oven preheated to 325 degrees for 35-40 minutes. Remove and frost with orange buttercream.
FOR THE ORANGE BUTTERCREAM:
Mix all ingredients together in an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Spread atop warm orange rolls. Serve & enjoy!
Makes approximately 32 rolls. (Enough to share.)