I feel angry tonight. There’s a grumble in that bottom part of my lungs. The part that’s attached to the belly.
I’m just mad. I’m mad that it’s already Thursday and tomorrow is Friday and the next day is Saturday and on Sunday I’m hosting a brunch and my kitchen floor will have to been shined before then. Angry.
I’m mad that I haven’t shopped for stocking stuffers yet. Because shopping for stockings is my favorite.
I’m mad because I haven’t sat down in a week. For reals. I just sleep standing in the middle of my errand running. December does not afford time to rest.
I’m mad because yesterday, when that horrid woman with the pretty hair and skinny butt cut in front of line at the store, it took me a full three minutes to come up with some witty response. By then she was already gone. Is this early stage dementia, when you can’t think of a good comeback until it’s too late? I’m gonna have to google it.
You know the problem here? It’s these bars. These damn bars. And yes, I’m pulling out the swears, so hide your kids and button up your shock stabilizer.
The are impossible to resist. I mean. Like. Impossible. As it, I don’t care how much you believe in miracles, you will not be able to stop eating these no-bake bars, no matter how long your hair. That was a reference to Samson of the Bible, yes. Which makes me mad. Why am I referring to the Bible. We’re talking about food here.
I’m just so mad at these bars.
Grrrr. They bring out the tiger in me.
I think it’s this hidden layer of Chex. It’s a serious game changer.
Or it could be this top layer of pecans.
Whatever it is, I’ve got to get me some antidote. What is the opposite of Tiger Butter bars?
Please don’t say cauliflower.
No-Bake Tiger Butter Bars
3 1/2 cups Rice Chex
1 bag milk chocolate chips
1 bag white chocolate chips
1/3 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Spray a 9x13 pan generously with nonstick cooking spray, or line it with parchment paper. Spread Chex along the bottom of the pan.
In a small, microwave-safe bowl, zap the milk chocolate chips for 30 seconds. Stir, then return to the microwave for another 30 seconds. Continue doing this just until the chocolate is smooth and melty. You don't want it to actually get hot to the touch, so watch it carefully and don't overcook it! Keeping the temperature low will allow the chocolate to reharden without splotchiness. Drizzle the chocolate here and there over the Chex. Don't worry about spreading it all over. Just place a few mounds in varying places across your pan.
In a small, microwave-safe bowl, cook the white chocolate chips as you did the milk chocolate one. Once melted, whisk in the peanut butter until fully combined. Dollop the peanut butter melt over the pan, filling in the spaces that weren't covered with melted chocolate. Use a knife to gently swirl the top layer of melted chocolates together. Sprinkle with chopped pecans. Allow to harden at room temperature before cutting into triangles with a very sharp knife. Enjoy!