How to Make a Bagel
This just in from the UK. We get breaking news from the UK around these parts. Breaking news via text, from bestie best friends that have been around these parts forever. Only, not technically these parts, because girlfriend gone went and moved to England and got all hoity toity on us Yanks.
So here I am, at noon in the afternoon, minding my own American business, when my main girrrrl Mayzie buzzes a text to my phone…
Did you know that I don’t make any of your recipes?
Wanna know why?
BECAUSE YOU USE CRAZY INGREDIENTS LIKE TRUFFLE OIL.
Dedicate an entire post to picky eaters, will ya?!
P.S. I still love you!
Well, duh. When a favorite person in the world asks for something, you head to the kitch and get cooking.
So, Mayzie. This post is for you.
Today we’re making bagels. With cream cheese. This is a bold flavor combination, but I urge you to stay with me here.
Slice the bagel. In half. With a knife.
Of equal import: Pay no heed to the poorly manicured fingernails in the photo above. Or below.
Toast the bagel. In a toaster.
Spread cream cheese on the bagel. With a knife.
(How are we doing here, Picky Eater? ;)
Place the bagel on a plate. Eat it.
WAIIIIT A SECONDDDD!!!
You didn’t think we’d actually keep it that simple, did you???
No way! We gotta do bagels right, lady! So, I pulled together a batch of brulee’ed Dole Bananas because they’re kind of my obsession lately.
To make them, you need butter.
And maple syrup. Brown sugar. A bit of rum. Make that a bit of COCONUT rum.
Picky Eaters: avert thy eyes. This is getting dramatic all up in here.
Non picky eaters who love bananas (pronounced in the proper English way ba-non-a’s), you’re just gonna simmer them all up in there until they are golden brown and sappy.
Then pop them on top of those prepped and plumpy bagels. Sprinkle with cinnamon streusel.
And once that all is done, there’s only one thing to do.
Call a friend. Invite her to bagels and tea.
Unless she’s in the UK. Then you just write an ever-lovin’ blog post and tell her how much you miss her picky eating arse.
‘Cause you really, really do.
Brulee'd Banana Bagels
2 blueberry bagels, toasted
8 tablespoons cream cheese
2 bananas (not overly ripe), halved then cut into 2" pieces
6 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup + 3 tablespoons dark brown sugar
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup coconut rum
3 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Toast bagels, top with cream cheese, set aside.
Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Melt 4 tablespoons of butter in the pan. Whisk in 1/4 cup brown sugar, maple syrup, and coconut rum. Cook until bubbling, then quickly add bananas. Cook on both sides of the bananas until golden brown. Transfer slices to the top of each bagel.
In a small bowl, use a fork to combine 2 tablespoons of butter with 3 tablespoons of brown sugar, flour, and cinnamon until crumbly. Sprinkle over bananas.
Serve bagels immediately as a breakfast, snack, or super-cool lunch.